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On Slowing Down

On Slowing Down

There is something special about slowing down, turning off all distractions, and opening your heart to God. As a mom/wife/daughter/employee/business owner/obnoxious over-achiever, that’s something that I’ve struggled to learn. Turning off. Stepping away. Saying no to the gigantic, never-ending to-do list and yes to taking care of myself. The kitchen sink will always be overflowing with dishes… What my family needs is my heart, and I’ve learned I can only do that when my own body and soul are nourished. 

This year has been a whirlwind, and I’ve raised my voice and found tears streaming down my face more than I’m proud of. I’ve gotten angry at God and questioned why I keep being faced with such immense challenges. Just over a year ago my mom ended up on life-support for a week after a “routine surgery” went south. My own health was failing and I couldn’t get answers.  In the midst of it, I heard a voice from God say “It’s not done.”  I struggled with the message and questioned my own sanity, but no less than 15 minutes later I suffered a delayed anaphylactic reaction that left me hospitalized and pondering my own mortality.  Ultimately, the experience led to answers that never would have happened if I hadn’t been in the exact right place at the right time.  The Dr’s told me my health struggles would be lifelong and that there’s a high disability potential – I told them that’s not an option. I decided the only option was to commit to doing whatever it takes to get my life on track, and have done so with a fresh perspective. I’ve worked hard to integrate the pieces of my old self that nourished me most, focusing more on emotional and physical core strength and getting back to surfing as much as possible.  The work I know I need to do is not yet done, but forcing myself to checkout and tune in to nature more is what helps me clear my head and create space for God. And that’s a pretty good place to start.

 – Holly

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